TOP CLICHES ABOUT RAISING MONEY

Quotes by Jacques Nichols (unless by others, as noted)

2006 ©

1. “There are three types of Venture Capitalist’s: venture, vulture and now the V——- gang. It is time for a new, better, class. It is time for ‘Virtuous’ Capital.”
2. “You cannot make dough out of bread crumbs.”
3. “You’re the reason I should invest, and you’re the reason I should not invest. I’ll pass.” Bill Tholke, Boardroom Consultants.
4. “This is a great idea . . . I wish someone else had thought of it.”
5. “Dilution is not a four-letter word, get used to it!”
6. “It takes the first 90 seconds to connect with potential investors, everything you say and do after that can only lose them. And that takes less then ten seconds.”
7. “Before making your presentation, take a look in the mirror. What do you see? Look and listen very carefully. You may get the gong.”
8. “The sooner a potential investor uses the ‘we’ word, the surer you can be he’ll invest. The longer it takes, or he doesn’t use this word, bag the presentation. It ain’t going anywhere.
9. “No company ever went broke due to dilution.” Les Fahey, Fahey Ventures.
10. “Show me your team and I’ll show you your company’s chances of attracting great investors.” Mark Reed, Common Ground Partners.
11. “No” is a very good word. Now you can focus on who may invest. “
12. “No one ever calls you back on Monday as they promised.”
13. “Be sure to give the good car to the guy who has to go to the airport to pick up the investors, just be sure it is not a Lexus.”
14. “And so what’s not to love about getting funded; well there can be lots of good reasons. They should easily come to mind if in your gut you didn’t connect with those guys in the room.”
15. “Time is your most important asset. Wasting copious amounts of time on meetings without getting a check is a corporate mortal sin.”
16. “Investors write checks somewhere, everyday to someone else’s company. Why not to yours?”
17. “Trying to raise money is like fishing. What are you using for bait?”
18. “Money follows success. Success follows money. It’s axiomatic.”
19. Only one word gets an investor’s undivided attention. It’s the ‘E’ word. Without it no check will ever be written. What is the ‘E” word?” (It’s EMOTION!)
20. “Investors fear a future cash call like you fear running out of money.”
21. “Get you cheerleader/first investor on board and then let him/her bring in the other investors. Works like a charm.”
22. “Always go for potential investors who have a ‘pre-existing’ connection to the company, its products, markets or some other tangible relationship. Avoid educating the uninitiated!”
23. “A cheerleader is not as dependable as a bell cow.”
24. “Cowboy entrepreneurs need not apply.”
25. “God loves the cowboy investors. And so will you.”
26. “In the 70’s and early 80’s potential investors considered it rude not to come to the meeting with a checkbook in their pocket. Nowadays, no one has a checkbook handy. Why?”
27. “A community with stories and scores of successful investments made in local companies is what makes the Silicon Valley, and Seattle what they are, and what separates them from other cities.”
28. “No company I know of ever raised too much money. Take your timidity and naïveté and double up your request.”
29. “So what it the investor stands a good chance of making lots of money. How much more will you make if no one invests?”
30. Raising money is like going to a new restaurant. It’s all in the presentation.’
31. Break away from the mold; throw out 80% of the Power Point slides.”
32. “Tell them, who, not what, you are”
33. “Make them want to introduce you to their wives. Without the wife’s OK, a lot a promises to invest will die.”
34. “Investors need another investment to attend to, like another hole in the head. Make them see you in a different light.”
35. “Only you believe that what you are selling really matters. Those in the room will possibly think that you have them confused with someone who gives a shit.”
36. “Know your limits, be prepared to counter, and if it means more to you to protect your company’s mission, vision and values, draw your line in the sand.”
37. “Use gray matter, when negotiating, and not necessarily your own.
38. Make sure you remember all the stories that will be associated with your company and its funding efforts. The moral to the story will be the best part of the story.”
39. “Investors are not walking dollar signs. Don’t look at them that way. We want to be seen as real people, with all the common failings.” Donald Moody
40. “Go after ‘Harmonic Capital,’ the kind that seeks to balance the Note with the Pitch.”
41. “Don’t invest in a company run by a fat guy.” From a 70s’ VC.
42. “Women entrepreneurs should tap into the untapped pool of money controlled by women.”
43. “The wife may not be in the meeting, but when he gets home, can he sell her on the deal?”
44. “Get creative and pop up a new formula that shows the investors that they’ll get their money back sooner, not later.”
45. “Meeting milestones should work in your favor too, not just in the investor’s favor. Insist on having some that work for you.”
46. “They ought to hold a ‘Morning After’ contest and give the top prize to the company whose Business Plan’s projections actually, over time, came the closest to what really happened.”
47. “It’s the intangibles that’ll get a check written. You really can’t know in advance what will really make the difference.”
48. “Investors are a funny bunch, but don’t tell them.”

2006 © Jacques B. Nichols: If you wish to reprint, pass around, or copy for any reason, please contact me for permission. I am happy to share my written materials as long as I am given credit for the writing and you have included my blog address.